Dave and Cindy fulltime in a truck camper. (The Albino Rhino) travel blog

Kevin, you clumsy bastard.

I slowly, and very carefully add myself to a long list of...

To this day, Cindy hates "minions", lol. But I know a girl...

These German tourists were EXTREMELY grateful to have Kevin back in the...

In the four months we were there, we heard of at least...

Everybody wants the perfect Grand Canyon photo... The "edgier", the better.

On one end of the spectrum, you've got people who won't go...

This family didn't even leave the footpath to take a photo, lol....

At the other end of the spectrum, you've got the Kolb bros....

Preparing for the perfect shot.

A little tip: Being two feet higher will not improve a photo...

I often wonder, what did these people see on the wall, that...

Dumb...

... And DUMBER.

Going out on a "limb"?

That's quite a climb down, just to do some stomach crunches.

Preparing for the next "Karate Kid" sequel?

Great place for a phone call... pacing around on loose gravel, a...

Once again... I wonder, would the photo be impacted by moving back...

A bump away from oblivion.

 

That dress will look awesome flapping in the wind... on the way...

Double jeopardy.

When being "near" the edge just isn't enough...

... Just climb and slide out as far as possible, just short...

 

"I believe I can flyyyyyyyy."

Maybe visitors are just inspired by the brave rock squirrels.

Hey, look... it's not THAT far down...

LET'S DANCE, BUD!

The truly fearless will often venture quite a ways off the rim...

Because hey... you only live once, right?

Taking no chances, these two get down on all fours for a...

 

This teen's parents let him climb down to "explore" the cliffs below...

... And maybe check his Facebook page.

Just 15 minutes at this location, revealed a parade of risk-takers, lining...

 

 

 

 

This woman was clearly not happy with her man's risky business.

Looks like she's too scared to hit him on the head, though.

 

 

I call this guy "Trophy Man", he got in several poses for...

"Top 'O' the world, MA!"

"In case you can't see it... the canyon's that way."

 

 

The, "I just climbed Everest!" pose... my favorite, since this guy never...

 

 

 

How many moms out there just had a fit?

Teetering on a boulder, over the edge, with a heavy pack on......

Bringing your kids with you... questionable parenting.

Oh yeah... dragging your young son over the side for a selfie,...

 

 

"Juuuuuust a little closer to the edge, if you could guys... PERFECT!"

I had to get pics of these guys, after watching one do...

Then, I watched 'em go to the edge, and JUMP, so the...

The most narcissistic man I've ever seen. He's adjusting his camera, after...

To get a pic of his studly self looking over the edge.

And also doing some push-ups! (This guy was also seen scratching his...

The idiots in this photo, aren't where you think they are... look...

There they are. Yeah, he's laying down next to his girl, with...


Welcome back to Dave’s Canyon Tours everybody! (And you thought the “Grand Canyon” entries were no more.) Today, I will NOT be taking you out into the canyon. Nor will I show you any images of grand vistas, wildlife, or blue skies. I was inspired some time ago, by stupidity… mine to be precise, to do an entry on a different subject this time around. (Those with a fear of heights, or dummies, may want to skip the photos, lol.)

It all began when a young German tourist came into the store, and asked me if the park service had anyone who could take some equipment down, and retrieve his property from the edge of the canyon. Turns out, he and his companions were travelling the U.S. for a few months, and every time they visited a special place they’d take a photo of their travel mate, Kevin, posing at that spot. Kevin’s not a person, mind you… he’s a “Minion” plush toy. (Made famous in “Despicable Me”) Seems “Kevin” had been placed on a large rock, fell over onto a slope, and rolled to within a couple of feet from “plush heaven”.

I told this guy flat out, “you’re out of luck, the park service doesn’t retrieve items dropped over the edge.” I had some time, however, so I agreed to go have a look and see if it was something I could get. After a short walk down the rim trail, we found it… about six feet down, on a slope, two feet from the edge and a steep drop. I could see several possible handholds, and some well-established shrubs, so I told him I’d give it a shot, but if I didn’t feel comfortable at any point… I was coming back empty-handed.

I proceeded slowly, evaluating each handhold, and foot placement before gingerly shifting my weight. Fortunately, I was able to reach “Kevin”, place him between my teeth, and carefully climb back up without incident. The tourists were extremely grateful, (Nick’s girlfriend actually had tears in her eyes). I suggested if he wanted to “thank” me, he could buy a membership to the Grand Canyon Association, lol. (He did, by the way.)

After it was all over, and they’d gone… It hit me: I’d just risked my life, come within a foot of falling thousands of feet, for a frickin’ toy! LOL. Cindy was, well, less than pleased with me, lol. (She’s still mad I think.) It got me thinking about all the crazy stuff people do here at the canyon. From present day, all the way to the Kolb Bros., whether in a boat, or in boots… people have flirted with death for a photo, a hat, a scarf, or even just the thrill of walking on the fine line between existing… and not. As they say, you never feel more alive, than when flirting with death, or the possibility of it.

There are no “short drops” from the rim. In most areas, you’re on it, or you’re falling hundreds, if not thousands of feet. The park service has done its part to try to prevent falling deaths, by posting signs, and providing stairs and railings at some of the best spots for photos. This, however, does not deter the parade of fools who want the perfect photo, or Facebook selfie. Nor does it stop those who find it necessary to go out farther than the previous guy.

We get people in the stores all the time, wanting us to call the park rangers because “Some idiot is climbing down the rim!” or “There’s a woman endangering her kids out on the rocks!” All we can tell them is “Sorry, stupidity is not against the law.” The truth is, the park service can’t “rail off” the entire canyon… and if they did, any ranger will tell you, “They’ll just climb over it anyway.” What I found especially odd, are those “photographers” who take stupid risks, for little or no gain in the quality of their photographs. A landscape photo that encompasses dozens of square miles, will not improve by getting four feet closer, or two feet higher! I honestly got to the point I was hoping someone would fall, just to “cull the herd” so to speak. I didn’t want them having offspring.

Recently, we were made aware of a “fall” that not only was survived… it was hilarious. (This story comes from one of the paramedics that worked the scene.) Seems a couple was strolling along the rim trail near the El Tovar Hotel, when the woman’s scarf blew over the wall. Her husband, decided he’d go over and fetch it. When the woman noticed him fumbling around down there, she went ballistic! “What the hell are you doing down there?!” “Get your ass back up here!” she screamed. He reportedly looked up at her, (no doubt embarrassed by her loud, public tirade) and shouted “Fuck You!” As the words left his mouth, he tumbled back five feet or so, hit a tree, and broke his arm. The paramedics had to be called to rescue him, and when they arrived, had to move this loud, cursing woman from the edge. “Ma’am, we’ve got to tone it down a bit, there are other visitors around. Do you know this man?” “Hell yes! I’m married to the ASSHOLE!” Throughout the entire rescue process (which took about 20 minutes) his wife, surrounded by onlookers, was shouting: “I want a fucking divorce! I want a FUCKING DIVORCE!!!”

From April 5th, to August 1st, there were 6 deaths due to falling from the rim… Right on track for the “12-per-year” average. This is low when you consider the park receives some 4.5 million visitors annually. Looking at the photos, however… I’m shocked it’s not much higher. Anyway… enjoy the humanity. (For more fun stories, check out the book: "Over the Edge-Death in the Grand Canyon".)





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