The alternate title was going to be "Cooling off in Burnt Penis" but I thought better of it. We took a day trip to Te Urewera National Park just an hours drive from the coast.
Te Urewera gains its name from a tradition that a Nga Potiki chief, old and feeble, lay down beside a fire and was fatally burnt in the genitals. A literal translation of Urewera is 'burnt penis'. I'm not sure if this legend has anything to do with their current ban on campfires, but you can't be too careful.