Larry & Lee Ann's Journey travel blog


The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain

your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw

print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it

becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in

the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to

the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster

than you can run..

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about

This. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your

comfort. However, dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they

sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched

out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight

out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is

nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some

miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not

necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under

the edge in an attempt to open the door.. I must exit through the same door I

entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline

attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog

or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the

front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here... You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your

clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I

like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are

animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk

on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they (1) eat less, (2)

don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come

when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't hang out with

drug-using people; (7) don't smoke or drink, (8) don't want to wear your

clothes, (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (10) don't need a

gazillion dollars for college and (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell

their children! LOL



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