Brooke's Journey Back |
Hello all of my Angels!! Welcome to my Journey. I’ve written a little background for you….
One month before I turned 10, my parents took the youngest four of us on the journey of a lifetime. One year in Europe, camping in a Volkswagen camper. It was an incredible adventure, and from that point on, I associated Europe and travel with family, safety, a cocoon of love, and of course the excitement of seeing something new every single day. I have always wanted to go back and see some of those places that we visited or lived.
One month before I turned 18, I met the love of my life, my Michael, and we embarked on a different kind of adventure. I had a life filled with love and laughter, nurturing and support, and, of course, travel. He was my life and I was his.
One week before I turned 50, Michael died suddenly of a pulmonary embolism, right in front of me. I had no warning, no time to say goodbye. My best friend in the world was gone forever.
I was in shock the entire first year but as the anniversary of his death approached, a little voice said "Go back home, go back to your joy." I gave it time to settle, this crazy little voice. I thought it was just me wanting to run away from my overwhelming grief, and that, as Buckaroo Bonzai says, "Wherever you go, there you are." How would traveling for a year help? But as the months went by, the idea wouldn't let go. I wanted to take a year's sabbatical from work and travel throughout Europe, recreating the trip taken with my family so many years ago. I wanted to re-visit old familiar places but also make memories of my own. Every memory I had from the age of 17 had Michael in them. I wanted to leap out into the world and find my own way, making memories that were mine alone. I have never been alone, I have never had to fend for myself, I have done everything in my life either with my family or with my husband.
So, here I am, leaping in the faith that whatever I need, God will provide. I don’t know what this year has in store but I trust completely that my heart will be healed, that I will be made stronger, that there are big adventures to be had, beautiful sights to behold, and that I can stand tall on my own two feet. I don’t see this as running from my past but running toward a beautiful future, a new beginning, a new story. This is also the story of my Journey Back. Back to me.
One month before I turned 10, my parents took the youngest four of us on the journey of a lifetime. One year in Europe, camping in a Volkswagen camper. It was an incredible adventure, and from that point on, I associated Europe and travel with family, safety, a cocoon of love, and of course the excitement of seeing something new every single day. I have always wanted to go back and see some of those places that we visited or lived.
One month before I turned 18, I met the love of my life, my Michael, and we embarked on a different kind of adventure. I had a life filled with love and laughter, nurturing and support, and, of course, travel. He was my life and I was his.
One week before I turned 50, Michael died suddenly of a pulmonary embolism, right in front of me. I had no warning, no time to say goodbye. My best friend in the world was gone forever.
I was in shock the entire first year but as the anniversary of his death approached, a little voice said "Go back home, go back to your joy." I gave it time to settle, this crazy little voice. I thought it was just me wanting to run away from my overwhelming grief, and that, as Buckaroo Bonzai says, "Wherever you go, there you are." How would traveling for a year help? But as the months went by, the idea wouldn't let go. I wanted to take a year's sabbatical from work and travel throughout Europe, recreating the trip taken with my family so many years ago. I wanted to re-visit old familiar places but also make memories of my own. Every memory I had from the age of 17 had Michael in them. I wanted to leap out into the world and find my own way, making memories that were mine alone. I have never been alone, I have never had to fend for myself, I have done everything in my life either with my family or with my husband.
So, here I am, leaping in the faith that whatever I need, God will provide. I don’t know what this year has in store but I trust completely that my heart will be healed, that I will be made stronger, that there are big adventures to be had, beautiful sights to behold, and that I can stand tall on my own two feet. I don’t see this as running from my past but running toward a beautiful future, a new beginning, a new story. This is also the story of my Journey Back. Back to me.
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